성가회 학자의 골칫거리

문화를 공부하는 학자로서, 우리는 항상 우리가 가진 선입견을 인식하고 있어야 한다. 나는 내 성가회적 관점을 숨기지 않으려 한다. 내가 세상을 바라보는 시각을 이해하지 못하는 독자들은, 이러한 선입견이 내 글을 어떻게 물들이는지 이해할 수 없을 것이기 때문이다.

테다스처럼 광활하고 분열된 곳에서 정확한 정보를 얻기란 어려운 일이다. 야사를 입에 담는 이들은 장광설을 늘어놓다가도 증거를 추궁하면 입을 꾹 다물기 일쑤다. 어떤 정보들은 서로 격하게 상충하기도 한다. 믿을만한 연락책을 찾는 어려움에 비하면, 대륙의 외딴곳으로 가는 교통편을 찾는 일은 아무것도 아니다. 게다가 소위 말하는 "명망가"들이 개인적인 평판, 혹은 사소한 이유로 나를 속인 일은 너무 많아서 말로 다 할 수 없을 정도다. 믿을만한 쿠나리, 데일스 엘프, 테빈터인 연락책을 찾기란 불가능에 가까웠고, 그렇기에 나는 가까이 사귄 이들을 귀중하게 여겼다. 간혹가다 내 쪽에서 그들의 신뢰를 얻어야 하는 경우도 있었다.

문서 역시 믿을만한 것이 못 된다. 나는 수많은 서적을 읽은 끝에, 안드라스테께서는 페렐던 출신 올레이인이며 이곳부터 호스버그에 이르는 모든 마을에서 태어났다는 말 같잖은 결론에 도달했다. 얼마 남아 있지 않은 엘프 역사는 입에서 입으로 옮겨지는 과정에서 왜곡되어, 결국 알아볼 수 없는 지경에 이른다. 그런 면에서 나는 드워프를 특히 존경한다. 그들처럼 정확하고 완전하게 역사를 기록하는 자들은 없기 때문이다. 기록관들이 그들이 두려워하는 하늘만큼 개방적이라면 더할 나위 없겠지만 말이다.

솔직히 말하자면, 성가회의 오랜 통치는 시대의 진실한 기록을 가로막았다. 역사의 대부분은 내가 몸담은 종교의 입맛대로 다시 쓰였다. 모든 것은 창조주와 관계되어 있어야만 의미 있는 것으로 취급되었다. 어쩔 수 없는 일이지만, 때로는 성가회에서 공식적으로 배운 것과 내가 직접 두 눈으로 본 것 사이의 괴리를 느낀다.

창조주에 대한 나의 믿음은 절대적이다. 하지만 바보가 아닌 다음에야 타국과 종교로부터 배울 수 있는 점들을 무시할 사람이 있을까.

영계는 어떠한가. 당신들은 그곳이 주입된 상식대로 창조주의 왕국이라고 생각하는가, 아니면 테빈터 고대 신들의 영역이라고 생각하는가? 그곳의 존재에 대해 이의를 제기할 자는 거의 없을 테지만, 그 논의를 넘어서면 학자들 사이에는 무수히 많은 의견이 존재한다. 내 의견에 동의하지 않는 자들도 많겠지만, 나는 그 무엇도 확실한 것은 없다는 결론을 내렸다. 폐쇄적인 관점을 가지기에 나는 이미 너무나 많은 사람과 만났고, 너무나 많은 관점을 접했기 때문이다.

 —제니티비 수사가 그의 명저, 지식을 찾아서: 성가회 학자의 여행기 출판 이후 올레이 대학에서 한 강의에서 발췌

 

As students of culture, it is important to always recognize your biases. I wear my Chantry perspective openly, for if my readers do not understand the lens through which I view the world, they cannot account for how these biases may color my writing.

 

Gathering accurate information is challenging in a place as vast and fragmented as Thedas. One man may go on at length about lurid dealings with a king, then refuse to provide his name or some proof of the account. Other sources may conflict wildly. Fixing travel to some of the more remote areas of the continent is nothing compared to the difficulty I've had finding contacts I can trust. I cannot tell you how many times "reputable people" have tried to deceive me, sometimes for personal notoriety, more often in the interest of a pet cause. Trustworthy Qunari, Dalish, and Tevinter contacts are especially scarce, and I prize those I have kept friendly. Often it is I who must earn their trust.

 

Texts too can be unreliable. From extensive readings, I have determined that Andraste was a Fereldan Orlesian who was born in every town from here to Hossberg. What little remains of elven history has been told and retold, shifted and skewed, until the tales are unrecognizable. I have particular respect for the dwarves, for there is no other people so obsessed with recording an accurate and complete history. If only the Shapers were as open as the skies they fear.

 

If I can be honest, the long reign of the Chantry has made the recording of reality at times a trial. Most common histories have been rewritten through the filter of my religion. Everything has meaning as it pertains to the Maker. And while this is unavoidable, it sometimes leads to conflicts between what is officially taught by the Chantry and what I have seen with my own eyes.

 

While my belief in the Maker is absolute, only a fool would ignore the lessons to be learned from other societies and religions.

 

Take the Fade. Was it the kingdom of the Maker, as common knowledge dictates, or the realm of the Tevinter Old Gods? Few people would contest its existence, but beyond that, there is little agreement among scholars. Though there are many who would disagree with me, I have come to believe nothing is for certain. I've met too many people and encountered too many perspectives not to keep an open mind about these things.

 

—Excerpt from a lecture by Brother Genitivi at the University of Orlais, delivered shortly after the release of his seminal work, In Pursuit of Knowledge: The Travels of a Chantry Scholar